Writing your vows is one of the most special parts of your elopement! It’s a chance to express your love, look back on your journey a bit, and make a commitment for the rest of your lives together. This can be as public or private as you want. Whether you’re speaking those vows alone in a magical spot around Lake Tahoe, or sharing them in front of a small group of loved ones, this moment will be one of the most deeply personal and meaningful of the whole day.
But I know writing your vows can feel like a big task for some. That’s why I’ve got some tips for you to help you write your own vows for your elopement!
Why Write Your Own Vows?
You don’t have to write your own vows, but doing so allows you to capture the heart of your relationship and what your love means in your own words. Traditional vows are beautiful in their way, but creating something of yours is such an amazing way to go because it’s personal. It’s a reflection of your journey and the adventures you both are going to take on.
Should You Choose to Do Private Vows?
One of the coolest things about elopements is all the flexibility to make your day completely your own. If you’re feeling the pressure of saying your vows in front of guests, private vows are a great alternative. You can share these intimate words in a more secluded spot before or after the ceremony, which gives you the chance to speak from the heart without any audience. There’s no “performance” factor—just the two of you. You can be completely open, raw, and vulnerable, knowing no one is listening in.
AND if you’re torn between two locations, you can get creative! Imagine having your ceremony at one location, and saving your vows for another. Sunrise at a dreamy mountain view and sunset at the lake for vows? Epic.
If you do want to share your vows with family and friends, it can still feel intimate and authentic. It’s a beautiful way to involve your loved ones in your elopement, letting them witness your commitment up close. And even if you’re saying your vows in front of others, the words are still just as meaningful, and you can always reserve some personal promises to share with your partner in private later on.
Take Your Time to Write Your Vows
This may be a bit controversial, but I don’t recommend waiting until the day to write your vows. The last-minute rush can add unnecessary stress, and your vows deserve more time to be carefully crafted. Give yourself space to reflect and write them over a period of time. You’ll be amazed at how thoughts and feelings evolve the longer you let them sit, and the more real and personal they’ll feel when you’ve had time to polish them.
How to Make Your Vows Even More Personal
You might be tempted to type up your vows and save them on your phone, but trust me, there’s something special about writing them out by hand. Not only does it look better than fumbling with your phone during the ceremony (plus, no last-minute panic trying to remember which notes app you saved them in), but it also creates a physical keepsake you can hold onto. Whether it’s in a vow book, notebook, or even on a simple piece of paper, handwritten vows feel more intentional and grounded in the moment.
I’ve seen couples share the same vow book, passing it to each other during the ceremony. Watching them both hold the same pages as they read their promises was incredibly tender—it added an extra layer of connection to an already beautiful moment. Plus, having your vows written in a keepsake book allows you to revisit them for other big milestones in your life together, whether it’s anniversaries or future adventures.
FAQs About Writing Your Vows
Do You Have to Write Your Own Vows?
Nope! This isn’t a thing you want to drag your feet to do! If writing isn’t your strong suit or you feel more comfortable reciting traditional vows, that’s perfectly okay. Your ceremony should reflect you as a couple. Whether you decide to write your own vows or not, the most important thing is that the words you say feel meaningful and true to your relationship.
How Long Should My Wedding Vows Be?
There’s no strict rule. You want them to be long enough to express your love and promises, but not so long that you lose focus or feel overwhelmed. Short, heartfelt vows often pack more punch than something long and rambling. Keep it real, keep it meaningful, and don’t worry about sticking to any “perfect” length.
And if one of you is a bit better with words than the other – it’s natural and it’s okay! You will show your love to each other in different ways during your lives together anyway.
When Should You Write Your Vows?
Ideally, as I mentioned before, you give yourself plenty of time for this. Start jotting down ideas at least a few weeks before the elopement. However, you can also make writing your vows part of the elopement day experience! Some couples choose to write their vows together as they’re getting ready. This can be a sweet moment for you before the ceremony. Whatever you choose, make sure it feels right for you!
Let’s Get You Married in Lake Tahoe!
Writing your own vows is a beautiful opportunity to put into words what your relationship means to you. It doesn’t have to be stressful or perfect—just heartfelt and genuine. Whether you’re sharing them in front of your loved ones or just between the two of you in a quiet, epic spot, these words become part of your story.
Ready to write something epic? I am here to help you execute all your elopement ideas. You’ll have the perfect day filled with adventure, wonder, and ease and beautiful photos to show for it! You can check out my portfolio here, and when you’re ready – send me a message here! I cannot wait to hear from you!
